Navneeth is enjoying his fall break. We spend most of the afternoons in the park even though its getting cold. He is already dreading the idea of going back to school next Monday. Even I am worried about getting him back to school day routine.
Navneeth is having trouble lining up for the assembly and lunch. The good international school where he goes to emphasize on learning through fun, but unfortunately Navneeth's idea of fun is slightly different. He is hardly an artistic person and doesn't want to do anything with crayons or color pencils. We are told that kids normally learn to write through coloring and drawing.
Its been tough on him trying to be international and multilingual. He can communicate in English now but his German ,just like his mother's is limited to few basic words. To make things complicated we insist on talking purely in Malayalam at home.
Sometimes I wonder if we are being fair to the kids by uprooting them this way. I keep on telling Navneeth that your 'home' is where your parents are , but is that really enough? He is really attached to his grandparents and can we justify ourselves for taking him away from them?
Since we came back from our vacation in August he keeps on asking me when we are going back again.. I tell him we cannot afford to fly every now and then and he has to wait till next year. When we call home he asks his grandparents when they are coming here. "Soon" they tell him , and he believes that.
When we were living in India I used to take him around a lot, to temples , to near by rivers and ponds and small local toy shops. Since his father was away he was entirely my responsibility and I fulfilled it by being at his side all the time. I have not let any so called baby formula pass through his lips and I was there when he first turned, crawled, walked and talked.I used to carry him even when my shoulders were almost coming apart and totally refused the idea of strollers.
But did I do all that for him? The fact is I was just fighting the ghosts of my own past.
When I was just 4 months old my mother got a transfer to a distant city and I was left at my mother's eldest sister's care in Calicut. Not that I had any complaints back then. I was actually quite a happy child and I grew deeply attached to the place, the people, the house and its surroundings. But when I was taken away at 11, it killed a part of my soul.
I always blamed my parents for this turmoil they put me through. I asked them a million times why I attended a local government school when they could afford the best education in the city.And when my exam results didn't meet expectations I blamed it on the fact that I was made to start school a year earlier.
The fact is , as I understand it now , they in their pure optimistic ways didn't anticipate that it would affect me at all. Come to think of it, all that has made me the person I am now, good or bad I let others to decide.
I have nothing against my parents now and in fact I am quite proud of both of them.
And if I hadn't started school a year earlier, would I have met my husband, my batch mate in college?
I know many women who juggle career and family and I never judge them or consider myself superior. I don't go about giving speeches on the 'importance of being a full time mother'. I know very well that a some of them must be even better mothers and home makers.
I have very close friend who is currently going through a rough phase at work. We have been friends for over 12 years and we talk at least a couple of times a month. I know how difficult it is for her for now and I asked her a few times to take a break from work and stay at home with her daughter. But she is afraid she might turn overbearing and obsessive sitting at home like her own mother.
So this is what we all do? Try to protect the kids from our own issues and drive them to their own?
As for Navneeth's writing handicap, we were worried that it might be disgraphia or something. But then we decided to take it 'home style'. We explained to him how important it is to work on his letters.
"Don't you want to buy a big blue car when you grow up?" yes he does.
"Don't you want to get a good job like your father to pay for the car" yes he does.
"Will you get a job if you can't write?" no he won't.
That settled it. We also promised to buy him a big lego box if he practices his letters for 15 minutes everyday ( He is quite a lego boy). And he is making good progress.
Right now he is playing with his Disney character dolls.
"Whats Mickey doing?" I ask him.
"Its not Mickey. Its my Achachan and he is plucking tomatoes"
Needless to say that Minnie is his Achamma and the other set of dolls are his Appooppan and Ammamma and they are all having a gallant time with 'Kannan Kutty'.
"I 've got all of them here." He smiles.
He makes me think, this child.
Navneeth is having trouble lining up for the assembly and lunch. The good international school where he goes to emphasize on learning through fun, but unfortunately Navneeth's idea of fun is slightly different. He is hardly an artistic person and doesn't want to do anything with crayons or color pencils. We are told that kids normally learn to write through coloring and drawing.
Its been tough on him trying to be international and multilingual. He can communicate in English now but his German ,just like his mother's is limited to few basic words. To make things complicated we insist on talking purely in Malayalam at home.
Sometimes I wonder if we are being fair to the kids by uprooting them this way. I keep on telling Navneeth that your 'home' is where your parents are , but is that really enough? He is really attached to his grandparents and can we justify ourselves for taking him away from them?
Since we came back from our vacation in August he keeps on asking me when we are going back again.. I tell him we cannot afford to fly every now and then and he has to wait till next year. When we call home he asks his grandparents when they are coming here. "Soon" they tell him , and he believes that.
When we were living in India I used to take him around a lot, to temples , to near by rivers and ponds and small local toy shops. Since his father was away he was entirely my responsibility and I fulfilled it by being at his side all the time. I have not let any so called baby formula pass through his lips and I was there when he first turned, crawled, walked and talked.I used to carry him even when my shoulders were almost coming apart and totally refused the idea of strollers.
But did I do all that for him? The fact is I was just fighting the ghosts of my own past.
When I was just 4 months old my mother got a transfer to a distant city and I was left at my mother's eldest sister's care in Calicut. Not that I had any complaints back then. I was actually quite a happy child and I grew deeply attached to the place, the people, the house and its surroundings. But when I was taken away at 11, it killed a part of my soul.
I always blamed my parents for this turmoil they put me through. I asked them a million times why I attended a local government school when they could afford the best education in the city.And when my exam results didn't meet expectations I blamed it on the fact that I was made to start school a year earlier.
The fact is , as I understand it now , they in their pure optimistic ways didn't anticipate that it would affect me at all. Come to think of it, all that has made me the person I am now, good or bad I let others to decide.
I have nothing against my parents now and in fact I am quite proud of both of them.
And if I hadn't started school a year earlier, would I have met my husband, my batch mate in college?
I know many women who juggle career and family and I never judge them or consider myself superior. I don't go about giving speeches on the 'importance of being a full time mother'. I know very well that a some of them must be even better mothers and home makers.
I have very close friend who is currently going through a rough phase at work. We have been friends for over 12 years and we talk at least a couple of times a month. I know how difficult it is for her for now and I asked her a few times to take a break from work and stay at home with her daughter. But she is afraid she might turn overbearing and obsessive sitting at home like her own mother.
So this is what we all do? Try to protect the kids from our own issues and drive them to their own?
As for Navneeth's writing handicap, we were worried that it might be disgraphia or something. But then we decided to take it 'home style'. We explained to him how important it is to work on his letters.
"Don't you want to buy a big blue car when you grow up?" yes he does.
"Don't you want to get a good job like your father to pay for the car" yes he does.
"Will you get a job if you can't write?" no he won't.
That settled it. We also promised to buy him a big lego box if he practices his letters for 15 minutes everyday ( He is quite a lego boy). And he is making good progress.
Right now he is playing with his Disney character dolls.
"Whats Mickey doing?" I ask him.
"Its not Mickey. Its my Achachan and he is plucking tomatoes"
Needless to say that Minnie is his Achamma and the other set of dolls are his Appooppan and Ammamma and they are all having a gallant time with 'Kannan Kutty'.
"I 've got all of them here." He smiles.
He makes me think, this child.
