Another new year...
Last week I called my cousin to wish her a happy new year. She was a bit depressed that day. (Aren't we all sometimes). She told me that life is a joy only for fake people with fake smiles and fake tears; real people only get hurt. I didn't know how to argue with that. Life is often confusing.
My cousin is a cynic, a skeptic who questions the very existence of God. We have been sisters, best friends all our lives and we always argue. When something go out of place, unplanned I turn to God. I desperately ask the supreme power to show me a way. I often follow signs and seek answers. To her everything is scientific and random. When I say ' that was a sign' she says 'just coincidence'.
Off late when things don't go right she is sinking into some kind of infinite sadness. And she doesn't have faith to fall back on. She asks me where is God when innocents gets raped and killed. I cannot always answer. It breaks my heart when someone I care about is depressed and I cannot make them feel better. I feel like I failed the purpose of my life.
Innocents do get raped and killed. The country is waking up to the plight of its daughters.
Sometimes when I find myself overwhelmed I try to focus on a memory. When I was 11 I started a new school in a new city and on my first day I lost my way home. My mother had left me at school and told me to take the school bus route no 3 in the evening. But in a school like Cotton hill where there are 1000 students and four school buses, buses often run second trips. Actually I had to take the bus no 3, but the second trip which goes to a different route. My mother did not know that and neither did I. No other girl I talked to on the first day was taking that bus so I went alone. I was not scared I just had to get off at the last stop. So I waited and I got off at the last stop. By the time I realized something was wrong the bus had left. ( I am often slow, I don't know why). Apparently it was some outskirt of the city and no soul was in sight. I didn't know what to do. I walked for a long time.I don't know if my memory is playing a trick but I think crossed some kind of farm. Then I reached a small junction. I dismissed the thought of taking a bus, ksrtc buses were too confusing for me. I decided to take an auto instead and got in to the first one. I told the driver the name of the place where my house was and he did not have a clue. This was a local auto and I had traveled the wrong direction to the other end of the city. He asked me what I was doing there and I told him I took the wrong bus. ( Yea I did :-) ) I also told him I was new to the city. My northern dialect would have given me away anyway. That good man asked someone how to get to the place and drove me home safe and sound. ( Of course my worried mother paid him a fortune.)
Will it be too bad of me if I want to hold my faith in the world where not all strangers are kidnappers, not all men are rapists and not all smile is fake.
I went to see the Colosseum once. ( when in Rome...). The Colosseum is a one of the seven wonders of the world, an example of the ancient Roman architectural genius. To me it is a monument of cruelty where many brave men fought for life and some were even eaten alive by wild beasts while the whole stadium cheered. Cruelty did not just start yesterday , history of human civilization is a history of cruelty as well. May be that is why all those ancient civilizations fell. But what is amazing is that when the city of Vatican was being built they used some parts of the Colosseum and other old roman buildings as a quarry. So the holly city is partly built on the raw materials from this monument of cruelty. Isn't that something to think about?
My cousin is a doctor, a radiologist and she takes her frustrations in life to a very demanding job. She sometimes detects tumors and internal injuries and confirms that somebody's worst fear is true.But mostly everyday she detects the first heartbeats of unborn babies and looks at their tiny faces, legs and arms. She then asks the expectant parents if they want to see the fetus. The anxious young mothers and proud fathers eagerly look at the screen and smiles even if they cannot understand anything. My cousin doesn't know this but she is bringing a lot of happiness into the world.
I am a believer. I pray when I am confused, scared and terrified. I don't know what skeptics do. So I pray for all the skeptics in my life too.
This just came into my mind, this silly song or poem . I am kind of like that. I can be serious but I am mostly extremely silly. (Roll your eyes if you want to)
Another day, Another dawn
Another start for you and me.
Another year, Another spark,
Another song for you and me.
Happy New Year!
Last week I called my cousin to wish her a happy new year. She was a bit depressed that day. (Aren't we all sometimes). She told me that life is a joy only for fake people with fake smiles and fake tears; real people only get hurt. I didn't know how to argue with that. Life is often confusing.
My cousin is a cynic, a skeptic who questions the very existence of God. We have been sisters, best friends all our lives and we always argue. When something go out of place, unplanned I turn to God. I desperately ask the supreme power to show me a way. I often follow signs and seek answers. To her everything is scientific and random. When I say ' that was a sign' she says 'just coincidence'.
Off late when things don't go right she is sinking into some kind of infinite sadness. And she doesn't have faith to fall back on. She asks me where is God when innocents gets raped and killed. I cannot always answer. It breaks my heart when someone I care about is depressed and I cannot make them feel better. I feel like I failed the purpose of my life.
Innocents do get raped and killed. The country is waking up to the plight of its daughters.
Sometimes when I find myself overwhelmed I try to focus on a memory. When I was 11 I started a new school in a new city and on my first day I lost my way home. My mother had left me at school and told me to take the school bus route no 3 in the evening. But in a school like Cotton hill where there are 1000 students and four school buses, buses often run second trips. Actually I had to take the bus no 3, but the second trip which goes to a different route. My mother did not know that and neither did I. No other girl I talked to on the first day was taking that bus so I went alone. I was not scared I just had to get off at the last stop. So I waited and I got off at the last stop. By the time I realized something was wrong the bus had left. ( I am often slow, I don't know why). Apparently it was some outskirt of the city and no soul was in sight. I didn't know what to do. I walked for a long time.I don't know if my memory is playing a trick but I think crossed some kind of farm. Then I reached a small junction. I dismissed the thought of taking a bus, ksrtc buses were too confusing for me. I decided to take an auto instead and got in to the first one. I told the driver the name of the place where my house was and he did not have a clue. This was a local auto and I had traveled the wrong direction to the other end of the city. He asked me what I was doing there and I told him I took the wrong bus. ( Yea I did :-) ) I also told him I was new to the city. My northern dialect would have given me away anyway. That good man asked someone how to get to the place and drove me home safe and sound. ( Of course my worried mother paid him a fortune.)
Will it be too bad of me if I want to hold my faith in the world where not all strangers are kidnappers, not all men are rapists and not all smile is fake.
I went to see the Colosseum once. ( when in Rome...). The Colosseum is a one of the seven wonders of the world, an example of the ancient Roman architectural genius. To me it is a monument of cruelty where many brave men fought for life and some were even eaten alive by wild beasts while the whole stadium cheered. Cruelty did not just start yesterday , history of human civilization is a history of cruelty as well. May be that is why all those ancient civilizations fell. But what is amazing is that when the city of Vatican was being built they used some parts of the Colosseum and other old roman buildings as a quarry. So the holly city is partly built on the raw materials from this monument of cruelty. Isn't that something to think about?
My cousin is a doctor, a radiologist and she takes her frustrations in life to a very demanding job. She sometimes detects tumors and internal injuries and confirms that somebody's worst fear is true.But mostly everyday she detects the first heartbeats of unborn babies and looks at their tiny faces, legs and arms. She then asks the expectant parents if they want to see the fetus. The anxious young mothers and proud fathers eagerly look at the screen and smiles even if they cannot understand anything. My cousin doesn't know this but she is bringing a lot of happiness into the world.
I am a believer. I pray when I am confused, scared and terrified. I don't know what skeptics do. So I pray for all the skeptics in my life too.
This just came into my mind, this silly song or poem . I am kind of like that. I can be serious but I am mostly extremely silly. (Roll your eyes if you want to)
Another day, Another dawn
Another start for you and me.
Another year, Another spark,
Another song for you and me.
Happy New Year!
